Sometimes I Feel Like Going Down.

I don't get it. Why is it so damn difficult to open my mouth? If I've got all eyes on me, I can't focus. I start shaking. My speech speeds up; this coupled with my quiet voice sometimes renders me incomprehensible, reinforcing the self-hatred. My mouth gets dry. I start inadvertently swallowing. I look stupid as hell.

It's really, really frustrating. I know for a fact that others routinely speak up. Other people have no problem connecting the impulses in their brains to their vocal chords. No one else gets anxious about the simple act of saying words.

No one but I.